We’ve all experimented in our sex lives, and we’ve all found things that we like. Exploring new things is an exciting way to keep your sex life fun and healthy.
Bondage is perhaps still considered a taboo topic. Studies report that roughly 10% of people engage in regular bondage practices. (1)
Using some elements of bondage like ropes, whips, and blindfolds are present in about 30% of Australian households. That makes bondage one of the most popular kinks and fetishes around.
But what is bondage? To answer your question, we’ve decided to write this epic article, which will give you the low down on everything bondage and BDSM related. So, without further ado, let’s get into the kink itself.
Bondage is usually considered a fetish or a lifestyle and entails tying someone up, binding them, or restraining their movement consensually for sexual thrill and experience.
Bondage is many things to many different people. A fetish, a kink, or a lifestyle, depending on how you view it. It is closely related to the BDSM subculture and fetish, but it doesn’t have to entail sadistic or masochistic sexual tendencies.
The popularity of bondage itself has skyrocketed after the release of the controversial but popular book (and subsequent movie) Fifty Shades of Gray. This movie does well to introduce the idea of bondage and BDSM to many people, but its interpretation of the fetish severely lacks in education, practice, and purpose.
Bondage is for everyone who is looking to experiment a little with their love lives (not only for stuck-up billionaires!). It has been a popular fetish and kink for quite some time, and local communities have only been supplemented with the addition of the internet into the spicy mix.
The internet is home to an abundance of different websites and forum pages, which serve as a hub for meeting, mingling, and discussing the fetish itself.
The internet has played a significant role in the destination of fetishes like bondage and BDSM. These websites serve a great purpose to destigmatize the fetish, provide the kinksters for a place to discuss their practices, and serve as a hangout for the global BDSM and Bondage community. They also play a significant role in advancing the fetish, how it’s practised, and teaching the community about the safety aspects of the practice.
In short, bondage is a fun, accessible, and widespread kink that you should try at least once in your sex life.
What is Bondage Sex?
Most forms of bondage are done for the sheer sexual stimulation that it brings to the table, and bondage sex is a big thing within the niche. Bondage sex is having sexual intercourse with bound individuals. It means that the practice entails a person to be bound in a way (or rather yet, in a suggestive position), which allows the other partner to have sex with them.
Bondage doesn’t always have to entail sexual intercourse, but there are certain positions, binds, and methods that highly support it. Unlike many other kinks and fetishes, bondage usually comes with plenty of other toys in play. Bondage sex can be achieved with two or more people, stimulation toys like dildos and vibrators, and sensory stimulation like Wwartenburg wheels, electroshocks pinches, and bites.
What Are The Roles in Bondage?
There are two traditional roles that one can take when partaking in bondage or BDSM. There is always the dominant position and the submissive position. These are often abbreviated into dom and sub respectively and serve two very different purposes.
The dominant party in the bondage play is expected to tie the submissive party up and do whatever is discussed and concessional. That can range from teasing, masturbation to sexual acts. The submissive party is supposed to take the tie-up and submit to anything that the dominant party subjects them to. It’s essential to frequently discuss bondage and BDSM, and find out what the other party is willing to do. That will give you a good idea of limits and how far you can go.
The third less traditional party in bondage and BDSM is a switch. A switch is a person who switches from dominant to submissive, based on a myriad of factors like the situation, the person in question, or the general momentary feel. Talking about bondage and establishing roles and limits is essential to any functional, healthy bondage based relationship. It will significantly cut down on any limit-pushing things that might ruin a relationship.
How Do These Roles Reflect On A Relationship?
The roles that a couple takes within a bondage sexual practice can strongly reflect on their relationship. These forms of relationships are usually regarded as being outstandingly healthy, as similar or same sexual preferences, and fetishes can do wonders to bring couples together.
The dominant and submissive roles directly translate into relationship roles but don’t have to. The most dominant people are sexually submissive. The characters that are in a relationship are much more fluid than in sexual endeavours, as relationships themselves are much more complicated. (2)
Alternatively, there are local bondage communities that take a more platonic approach to the kink itself. That gives off an educational approach to the kink and works on educating interested people on how to perform bondage safely.
Bondage doesn’t have to be at the core of the relationship, but it can. It is much more prevalent in BDSM, where the bedroom makes it into the streets. Bondage is much more contained than BDSM in nature but still influences relationships to an extent.
There are ample differences between bondage and BDSM. Bondage is just a small part of BDSM, while BDSM doesn’t have to be a part of bondage.
BDSM stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism, and is usually regarded as a full-on fetish and lifestyle rather than a kink.
Bondage is the restriction of movement for sensory and erotic stimulation, while the world of BDSM is far more expansive, including a myriad of different things. Alternatively, bondage doesn’t have to revolve around pain, preferably around restriction. BDSM, on the other hand, heavily relies on receiving and inflicting pain. The roles within the two are very similar, but in the BDSM jargon, the dominant is known as a master, and the submissive is known as a slave.
There are a lot of different methods that are used when practising BDSM to amplify sexual thrill. Unlike bondage, BDSM itself doesn’t involve sex that much. It’s all about consensual torture and pushing the limits of human resilience. BDSM communities and bondage communities are usually very entwined, as both are serving to educate their population on the safe practices of these sexual adventures.
Both of these kinks and fetishes have their tool arsenal, which we will discuss a little bit later in the article. The bondage community has a wide variety of movement-constricting equipment, which is available at sex shops and fetish stores around the world. The materials used in BDSM have a wider range than one could imagine.
BDSM Products
As bondage is a part of BDSM, we’ve decided to cover the equipment of BDSM. In this section, you’re going to learn all about the different equipment used in this fetish ─ and the respective variants.
There are a lot of different pieces of equipment that people use in BDSM. If you’re looking to try something out, we advise you to pay close attention to our description. We’re going to be covering all the significant types of equipment, and their most popular variations to give you a broad picture of what you might like.
Ball and mouth gags are perhaps some of the most popular BDSM products available. We’ve all seen them at least once in movies or other video media, and we’ve died to try them out. They’re usually the first piece of equipment aside from rope that people get in their arsenal, and it’s easy to see why.
Ball and other mouth gags work great to restrict speech while keeping breathing unobstructed. They’re much more fun than people think in the first place, making them one of the most popular kinky additions to the bedroom around. There are three significant variants of ball gags.
A solid ball gag is usually made out of silicone and comes with a leather strip to tie around the submissive’s head.
The solid silicone ball is the smallest of the variants, providing the submissive with enough breathing room, while still providing the desired effect. The ball is usually made out of high-grade silicone, which can handle all of the spit, slobber, and biting.
Unlike the other two major variants, the open mouth gag forces the submissive’s mouth open for any sexual endeavors and breathing. They’re the less popular variant, because of their size.
Some people find them too large actually to serve a purpose. The subvariant of the traditional open mouth kiss shaped gag is the spider gag, which is a series of metal rods forcing the mouth of the submissive open.
That is the mother of all ball gags and is the most popular one. We’ve all seen it before in the media, a red plastic ball with holes to breathe through.
It’s the most popular variant and comes in a myriad of different shapes, sizes, and colours. It’s usually the cheapest of the three, making it most accessible to the most substantial amount of people.
Bondage clamps are another trendy piece of equipment that is usually used in bondage, and usually focuses on the nipples.
Different varieties of bondage clamps serve a different purpose, working in tandem to achieve the restrictive pleasure that only bondage can bring to the table.
Nipple clamps are a small clip that is placed on the nipples. It’s the cheapest and by far most tame of the bondage clamps and is usually made out of metal.
The more hardcore variant isn’t clip-based, but two sticks and a constriction band. They’re relatively tame, and work to stimulate the mammary erogenous zone with pressure.
Some of these come with bells, adding to the degradation fetish that is also a part of BDSM.
Bondage kits are a vital piece of equipment in bondage because they usually come with all of the essentials that people need to get into bondage. They serve as a great starter kit for many people looking to get into the fetish.
Bondage kits are of varying size and can include the essential things or the most niche things, depending on their price, purpose, and type. To make the categorization of bondage kits simpler to comprehend, we’ve split them up into three different tiers.
The tier one bondage kit is usually not expensive and contains only the most basic equipment that anyone looking to get into bondage requires. It usually consists of:
In tier 3, we’ve decided to group all of the items that come in costly bondage kits. These are usually very pricey and come with unimaginable amounts of equipment.
The equipment itself is typically high in quality. The tier 3 bondage kit is available for purchase from our online store and usually includes:
Handcuffs
Foot Cuffs
Cross Binds
Candles
Whips
Floggers
Ticklers
Stick Whips
Collars
Ball Gags
Spider Gags
Open Mouth Gags
Shockers
Electroshock Clamps
Ropes
Binds
Collars
Masks
Harnesses
CBT Equipment
The only things that were excluded from this tier list were heavy-duty purpose-built pieces of BDSM equipment, such as full-body torture devices, chain binds, and pillory-type restraints.
Bondage ropes and tie-ups are the most prevalent pieces of equipment which are centred around bondage. This form of the toy is usually centred around restricting movement, being a piece of bondage equipment rather than BDSM.
They come in a myriad of different shapes and sizes, all serving the aforementioned restraining purpose.
They do vary quite a lot in the types of restraints that are suggested and work well to educate on bondage techniques, variants, and practices.
They come in three different models, which are usually centred around their materials, application, and general purpose. Bed restraints are also very popular among couples that like to strap each other to the bed.
Leather restraints are usually harnesses and cuffs, which are meant to inhibit the movement of the submissive. They’re the easiest of the tie-ups to use and don’t require much prep or know-how to get into.
They’re the first thing that people tend to get into when they’re working with bondage equipment, all courtesy of their simplicity.
Some people also have a fetish for leather and latex, which these restraints feature heavily.
Alongside leather restraints, bondage ropes are extremely popular. Not only do people experiment with ropes often, but they’re the cheapest variant available.
Bondage ropes aren’t the same as regular ropes, and we don’t advise using proper ropes for sexual restrictions.
Bondage ropes don’t leave rope burn marks and are generally softer than other ropes. Their application is as expansive as the human imagination, making them one of the most featured pieces of equipment in bondage.
There are a lot of different ways to tie your partner up. There are also forums and books which will help you find out and experiment with new ways to restraint with ropes.
The possibilities that ropes bring to the table are infinite. Combining this versatility with the relatively cheap price tag of bondage ropes makes ropes one of the most popular options when it comes to first-time bondage equipment.
Chain tie-ups are about keeping your partner under lock and key, quite literally. They’re regarded as the most “hardcore” variant of restraint equipment, and they’re not that easy to get into.
Chain equipment is the most sturdy and long-lasting of the options, but its application is by far the toughest.
Chains are best reserved for the fetish veterans who are prepared to tackle such a dangerous, thrilling, and sophisticated piece of equipment. As mentioned above, these are usually combined with locks, and sometimes used to make elaborate sexual displays.
Cock and balls devices might sound very frightening to most, and that’s because they are. Some people are into more hardcore parts of BDSM and bondage, with cock and ball devices being an integral part of it.
Cock and ball torture is not the most popular form of BDSM and is relatively complicated. This complexity stems from the fancy equipment and the dangers associated with the kit. If improperly used, it could lead to erectile dysfunction, penis bruising, and other forms of sex-related injuries.
That is why CBT is mostly reserved for fetish veterans ─ who are prepared to tackle this entrancing form of bondage. The cock and ball devices come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, purposes, and applications. Since the full list of CBT equipment would be too long, we’ve decided to cut it up into yet another categorization.
Ball crushers are vices for the testicles, operating on a crank motion to put pressure on the testicles. They can stimulate the submissive through pain and degradation, both of which play a crucial role in BDSM culture.
Electrical CBT devices are many and differ in shape, size, and purpose. The gist of the device is to electrically shock the testicles and penis, to provide sexual thrill and release.
It might sound a little barbaric, but the feeling is described as “entrancing.” Electrical CBT devices operate on a relatively low voltage but provide a stimulatory impulse effect.
Cock cages are an integral part of longer-lasting BDSM sessions and are most prevalent in BDSM based relationships.
They’re a literal cage for your member, allowing for urination and proper function, but prohibiting the development of an erection. These are also known as male chastity devices and come in a myriad of designs.
Cock cages are either metal and secured with a lock, or made entirely out of interlocking plastic.
Urethra play equipment might sound eerie to some but is perhaps the most versatile of the BDSM equipment. Urethra play entails the insertion of fingers or objects into a urethra. The most popular urethra toys are:
Much like regular floggers, genital floggers are a smaller, gentler variant of the popular flogging tool.
They’re usually made out of leather strands and are far milder than their larger counterparts. That is because the testicles and penis have a lot of nerve endings, making them sensitive to touch.
Genital floggers come in either flogger or whip form.
A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is used to stretch the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles.
Many people report this can be enjoyable for the wearer as it can make orgasms more intense because the testicles are prevented from moving up.
When used regularly, this practice is designed to your testicles permanently hang much lower than before. These sex toys must be used with caution (like all bondage equipment) and can be potentially harmful as the circulation of blood can be easily cut off if over-tightened.
The humbler is a device that is a testicle cuff, binding the testicles to behind the thighs. The apparatus is a cuff centred in a bar, which works to prohibit movement.
If the wearer were to move, it would cause extreme pain. It’s a tool most frequently used in ball stretching.
This pieces of equipment should be only used by experienced BDSM experts. Like ball stretching rings, there is a potential to permanently harm your genitals, when using a humbler.
Dog leashes and collars are what you think they are. They’re the leashes and collars designed for larger dogs, purchased in a pet shop.
They’re very affordable and serve a larger purpose than affordability. They add to the degradation aspect of BDSM, which is the primary affiliation of some fetish practitioners.
Designated BDSM leashes and collars vary the most. From full-face masks and leashes to mouth leashes, to traditional neck restraints, they’re usually made out of leather. The straps are sturdy and are meant for yanking, choking, and “dog walking.”
These pieces of bondage equipment are trendy and work to change the way we have sex. Sex swings are installed into the ceiling, allowing people to have effortless sex through a swinging motion. They’re often combined with ball gags and rope binding, only enhancing the sexual thrill.
Sex swings can sound like a pretty full-on piece of sexual equipment. Where do you hang one? Can a door hold the weight of a full human? Luckily, there are many options and styles available on the market these days.
These swings allow couples to have sex in the butterfly sex position, which is an amazing position to try. The butterfly sex position has the woman lying face down in the sex swing and the guy will penetrate from behind.
Harnesses also work in the same manner. Bars are usually installed high, and allow the dominant to hang the submissive by the ankles, genitals, neck, or other binding forms.
A spreader bar is a type of bondage equipment that is used to spread and hold your partner's knees, arms or ankles apart.
These sex toys are popular in the BDSM community and are typically made of wood, metal, or plastic bars or rods.
Some spreader bars have built-in cuffs or attachment points on each end. In bondage sex, one partner's wrists, ankle, arms, or legs can be attached to the ends of a spreader bar, either with built-in cuffs or rope. Spreader bars are designed to be restrictive as well as to create a sense of vulnerability, which one or both partners may find erotic.
A spreader bar may also be called a bondage bar.
Slapping Toys & Ticklers
Slapping toys and ticklers serve to stimulate the submissive sensually and are very popular in the BDSM community. They come in four different variations.
Floggers
Floggers are the traditional multi-laced whips. They have more than one end and usually serve for gentler stimulation on the buttocks, genitals, or breasts.
Whips
Whips, better known as bullwhips are long leather or latex whips, usually used for more severe slapping. That is generally employed on the buttocks and breasts, as genitals are too sensitive for this ruthless tool.
Stick and Pads
Slapping sticks or pads are hard objects that are used to slap the submissive. They’re usually in the shape of a stick, table tennis pad, or another similar shape. Their material makeup is usually leather or latex, and some have indentations spelling words out. After a severe slap, these words will leave an imprint on the skin, adding to the degradation.
Ticklers
Ticklers are usually long sticks with feathers or imitation feathers on the end of them, with their purpose resting in tickle torture.
How to Get Into Bondage?
We’ve discussed all of the equipment associated with BDSM and Bondage ─ but we’ve yet to go over how to introduce bondage itself. Bondage is a very expansive fetish, and if you’re wondering how to tie bondage ropes, you’re going to find a myriad of options.
With the bondage community being as large as it is, there is absolutely no shortage of information available. There are many ways to tie a rope in a binding manner, for every level of bondage enthusiasts. Do some research on how to tie bondage rope, and then give it a shot with your partner.
We advise you to start simple and then increase the intensity and complexity over time.
If you’re new to the fetish and are looking to get into it, you have a lot of internet communities centered around bondage to teach you all about the different binds.
Our advice on getting into bondage is taking it relatively easy. Bondage and BDSM are both acquired tastes, and it’s not something that is developed overnight. There are many different sub-kinks and niches within bondage and BDSM themselves, all of which require proper information and introduction.
The first thing you should do if you’re thinking of getting into bondage is thoroughly researching the effect of all the toys, and some necessary rope binds. If you’re looking to learn how to tie bondage knots, there are a lot of instructions online.
The equipment that is used for BDSM can be quite expensive, and you should buy it in bulk if you can. If not, we suggest not to improvise. If you improvise on bondage equipment, the results can be dangerous and even deadly at times.
Information is critical when you’re looking to practice safe bondage, and you should do your best to be adequately informed on all the things you’re planning to do.
You need a partner to do bondage with, and you need to make sure they’re interested in it. Bondage can be quite frightening at times, so it’s essential to ease your partner into it. Don’t start with elaborate knots and scary-looking toys.
Essential Things To Remember About Bondage
Bondage might be one of the most popular fetishes around, and it might be amusing, but there are a couple of things you should keep in mind. Bondage is unsafe if you don’t know what you’re doing, and there are some rules to follow when practising it.
To help you learn about bondage and get a taste for it, we’ve decided to answer some of the most pressing questions about the fetish itself.
How to self-bondage?
Self-bondage is a popular form of bondage and entails binding yourself for the purpose of sexual release and sensation. That is a little tricky to master and requires self-binding techniques. We’re not going to go over the methods here, as they’re abundant on the internet.
We are, on the other hand, going to give you some things to keep in mind when practising self-bondage, which are:
Never tie too tight
Always keep your phone on hand
Don’t get carried away
Don’t do anything too uncomfortable
Safety first
Keep medical attention on speed dial
Inform yourself on the binds
Don’t use improvised bondage equipment
What is a safe-word?
A safe-word is one of the essential parts of BDSM and bondage. It is a predetermined word that ends all forms of BDSM and bondage or at least lightens them.
It’s a word that tells that the situation has gone too far and that the pleasure is replaced with discomfort.
When picking a safe-word, it’s best to choose something atypical and odd for the situation. Always select a safe word that can’t be mistaken for another, or used in a sexual contest. Always remember your safe-word!
A study done by wichita state university seeks to address some of the commonly held misconceptions concerning the BDSM and Leather communities held by those outside the communities. The research attempts to establish how members of the communities define and practice consent in both their sexual and everyday lives. (3)
How to perform light bondage?
Light bondage is the vanilla brother of bondage, and entails the same things, without most of the pain and discomfort. It’s only about constricting and preventing the movement of the submissive without causing any pain or discomfort. It’s advised to start your introduction to bondage with light bondage, uncomplicated knots, and ease yourself into the fetish slowly.
Where do I find a partner or learn about bondage?
You can learn everything you need to know about bondage on the internet or through books available for purchase. Consider joining a bondage class, or using a social media service like FetLife. FetLife is the most popular global bondage community, allowing people to learn everything there is to know about the kink.
It also has an abundance of users all across the world, allowing you to mingle with your potential new partners through the internet.
How do I find out my limits?
Finding your limits is going to be quite easy when you’re dealing with bondage. Test all of the types, toys, and binds out, and see what works for you. Limits tend to increase, so test all of them more than once, because you might wind up liking particular things.
How do I find out what kind of bondage is for me?
Bondage and BDSM are both vast and have a lot of sub-kinks within them. The only way to find out what works best for you is to test it out. Research all of the forms of bondage, all the toys, and the binds, and then give them a shot. You’re never going to know if you like it if you don’t test it out.
We suggest going into the fetish easy and then moving your way up the complexity as time goes by. Don’t start too strong, as that might drive you or your partner away. Bondage takes time to master, meaning you should evolve with your tastes.
The content provided on this site for informational purposes only, and does not intend to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Some bondage practises can be potentially harmful to you or your partner and should not be used before contacting a professional.
If you have any questions, please contact us. We are always happy to help out.
Author: Erica Cuff
Erica Cuff has been involved in the sex toy industry since 2000. Working behind the motto “Sex Toys should be fun”, Erica provides useful tips & advice from years of hands on experience and research with adult products.
Happily married since 2005, she knows first-hand how our sex lives can become repetitive if we don't give them the time and effort they deserve. If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, then Erica is your gal! She lives to cover topics that empower men, women and couples needing inspiration to keep lovemaking exciting and fun.
Her other focus is teaching women how to properly master the “bald man in the boat” to achieve the best orgasms ever (partner or no partner!) Her informative and unique tips, techniques and advice is up there with certified sex therapists and Sexologists, but with the added advantage of her expereince in the adult toy business.
4 Comment(s)
Thanks a lot!
Interesting play, its really amazing things.
Great stuff, thank you.
Great info guys, thank you.
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